La Poulette

Tastes like chicken.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Queen boy

She could feel someone's gaze upon her. She looked up, flipped her hair and two myopic pairs of eyes locked across the smoky bar. The rest, as they say, is history.

If this sounds like the begging of a cheesy romance novel, don't be fooled. It is in fact a true account of how I met my Brussels based Gay Best Friend (GBF), J. I still remember that our first conversation revolved around Flemish-Waloon politics and when I questioned the animosity between the two he dismissed it with the words: "Oh we're all Belgian, we all have the same Queen and we all love our Queen!" I've yet to meet a Belgian who gives the Queen a second thought, but at the time I figured that he must know a thing or two about such things, most notably because he later confided "Darling, I want to be an ambassador!" Guess the fact that the boy had just majored in engineering and was working as an advanced mathematics teacher at the time should have made me take his political opinions with a pinch of salt. But whadda ya know, our friendship blossomed without further ado regardless. Soon we'd be holding regular meetings with a bottle of wine at the Ultime Atome or splurging on oysters, champagne and a dark chocolate truffle with raspberry sauce at the Belga Queen. Amateur relationship psychology would usually be the predominant theme of the evening and oh how we marveled at our own brilliance when we came up with what we perceived to be priceless nuggets of wisdom such as "Some men are like shellfish - it's hard to get them to open up, but if you succeed, you just might find a pearl inside" (and yes, I can hear y'all retching). Don't think we stopped there. No effing way José, we buuuuuuilt on it further until we came up with such ridiculous concoctions as "Shellfish are like bison - they need lots of space". Cue grave nodding so as to allow the wisdom of this profound truism to sink in. Hey, I never said we were the smartest peas in the pod, but dammit, at least we looked good doing it.

While all this was taking place, J. changed his professional aspirations from ambassador to Opera director (he did a brief stint working for the Opera de la Bastille in Paris), until the discovery of my salary kicked his capitalist pragmatism into overdrive and he promptly decided that the EU institutions were the only way to go. Good luck, I thought with no shortage of smug superiority, because everyone - tout le monde - knows that the only way to get a job at the institutions is through a fluke of gross negligence by the human resources department (as was the case with me) or by being an EU enthusiast who sets his mind on this goal before deciding to enroll in engineering school. HR flukes, they are rare. But two years on since our first meeting, my favourite Flemish Pretty Boy is a rising star at one of the Institutions and his career prospects have him laughing all the way to the bank. Incidentally this also means that we see a helluva lot less of each other, as it just so happens that he's now stationed in the far off land of Italy.

So anyway, let me cut to the chase: the truth of the matter is that only three of the Poulettes real-life friends are aware of her secret life as a bloger. But after careful deliberation at the Poulette headquarters here in Brussels, it was unanimously decided that perhaps this little milestone merits another coming out.

*Peeks from behind the door and waves shyly*

HI DARLING!!!!!!!!!!


  • At 11/18/2005 10:02:00 AM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    Honey, you can only have one GBF, coz this blog ain't big enough for both of us!!!

  • At 11/18/2005 10:59:00 AM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Ha, ha, I saw this one coming. Which is why J. was carefuly qualified as the "Brussels based" GBF. As the wise Slovenian proverb says "da bo volk sit in koza cela".
    With all the jealousy, envy and discontentment this blog is generating, careful navigation between the different interests is starting to become pretty damn hard indeed.

  • At 11/18/2005 11:08:00 AM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    Hihi, a vrai minefield indeed. As long I hold the supreme GBF title...

  • At 11/18/2005 02:46:00 PM, Anonymous Queen boy said…

    I can live with warriors roaming the outskirts of exciting Luxemburg and holding titles, as long as i may hold the precious tiara. Furthermore, my dear warrior, i do think we have some mutual interest here: preventing honey-darling-queen-bee from bringing our "adversaire mutuel", that other slovenian gay person, on this blog.
    BTW: Could we please limit ourselves to the use of the official languages of our beloved institutions?

  • At 11/18/2005 05:03:00 PM, Anonymous crni said…

    Isn't it rich?
    Are we a pair?
    Me here at last on the ground,
    You in mid-air.
    Send in the fags.

    Isn't it bliss?
    Don't you approve?
    One who keeps tearing around,
    One who can't move.
    Where are the fags?
    Send in the fags.

    Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
    Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
    Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
    Sure of my lines,
    No one is there.

    Don't you love farce?
    My fault I fear.
    I thought that you'd want what I want.
    Sorry, my dear.
    But where are the fags?
    Quick, send in the fags.
    Don't bother, they're here.

    Isn't it rich?
    Isn't it queer,
    Losing my timing this late
    In my career?
    And where are the fags?
    There ought to be fags.
    Well, maybe next year.

  • At 11/20/2005 06:32:00 PM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    There goes the neighborhood… Queeny babe, you can have all the tiaras of this world, for all I care! Just go easy on the tantrums and watch out for Paris , your main competition … And I'm still in Ljubljana which is probably more exciting then the outskirts of Luxembourg. Could the same be said about the Padanic valley, I ask you? As for our adversaire mutuel – who are you talking about? There are so many since our queen B can't keep her cakehole shut… KEJ TAZGA, Lil Kim is 4 days younger than yours truly!!!

    FYI: since the 1st of May, Slovenian is one of the official languages of our beloved institutions or are you not yet in the know?

    And Crni babe, what's up with the Bring in the clowns lyrics?? I don't get it…

    P.S.: thank God for La Poulette for providing us with our cyber nicknames.

  • At 11/21/2005 05:49:00 AM, Anonymous crni said…

    Well, you two have been very entertaining so far. Besides, everyone knows that musicals are gay.

  • At 11/21/2005 09:04:00 AM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    Crni, believe it or not, I don’t know any musical. That’s an American gay thing.
    Oh, liar liar, pantalones on fire, I know The Sound of Music, just loooove it (The hiiiills are alive with the sound of music…, priceless), I've even downloaded the o.s.t. from eMule. Must be for those familiar alpine surroundings and edelweisses… Or is it for the baron von Trapp?

  • At 11/21/2005 10:27:00 AM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Sitting back idly, watching the comment wars bring up the ratings. Why oh why did I not think of this before?!

  • At 11/21/2005 02:56:00 PM, Anonymous jaKa said…

    now, my feathered honey, with your heidi-fleissish aspirations you could perhaps attempt to match your two GBFs, couldn't you, instead of letting them fight for the title of Supreme in this rather gay verbal deathmatch, spitting tiaras at each other...

  • At 11/21/2005 03:13:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Jaka, I tried, god KNOWS how I tried! As with all my other match-making endavours, however, the experiment blew up in my face - BIG TIME.

  • At 11/21/2005 03:45:00 PM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    And when she says big time, she means BIG TIME!!! Let me just say that me & LaPoulette, we have diametrically opposite taste in men. Except for the Purebred, mmmmm, yummy yummy yummy (I've got love in my tummy)!

    And it's not really a verbal deathmatch, it's more for show... I just couldn't help myself not to piss all over this blog and assert my alpha queer status. I tend to get territorial occasionally. God knows I have nothing against our Queeny, he is quite sweet.

  • At 11/21/2005 03:59:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Atta boy!
    As for the Purebred, he will be tickled (a manly) pink.

  • At 11/23/2005 01:14:00 AM, Blogger la.dauphine said…

    He sounds FABULOUS. And now that he has a bit of $, I bit he's living an ULTRA-fabulous lifestyle... I wanna be his friend too!


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