La Poulette

Tastes like chicken.

Monday, September 19, 2005

The unpopular girl's guide to dating

My first boyfriend was a pale, sickly looking kid, with white blond hair and milky blue eyes. He was almost a full head smaller than me, but I was grateful that there was no metal in his mouth and that someone would actually give me the time of day in the first place. Beggars can't be choosers, I figured. He sent me a love letter via his best friend, painstakingly written in large biro font on green stationary with pictures of dinosaurs running along the margin. The magic words (Will you go out with me? Love, Mark) sent a rush of excited shivers down my spine. But I played it cool. I was no geek, but I wasn't exactly popular either. Mark, on the other hand hung out with the "in crowd" occasionally and had recently gone out with a seriously popular chick (Dawn Jaya, a name forever etched into my memory). I reasoned that a) I would get a boyfriend, despite being a skinny, boobless 12-year old late bloomer and b) if I played my cards right, I would climb a rung or two on the popularity ladder - a major preoccupation of every kid at my international school.
We met by the water fountain at lunch, both of us accompanied by our best friends for moral support. I popped a huge pink bubble with my gum and haughtily let him know that I would think about going out with him. We talked about history class for a couple of minutes and just before making my way back to homeroom, I informed him that my mind was made up and the answer was yes. His tiny Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed in relief - the boy could not afford the humiliation of being turned down by someone with as little market value as myself either - and just like that, we were officially a couple.
During the initial phase of our romance (that would be day one) my jelous girlfriend convinced his friend to ask her out as well. He resisted, but she was a feisty German creature who wouldn't take no for an answer. The poor kid finally conceded and we both squealed in delight knowing that the awkward obligation of "going out" would be made less so, as it appeared that double dates would abound. The romance lasted a week or two, during which we would meet after school and talk behind the gym. At one point the boys tried to teach us how to skateboard and Mark protectively took my hand to ensure I wouldn't fall. The following day the whole school was abuzz: Poulette and Mark were holding hands! Poulette and Mark were holding hands! I shrugged the comments off disinterestedly (what's a little hand holding for a girl as experienced in matters of love as myself?) and feigned boredom at the whole affair (really people, why all the hoopla?). In reality I was worried sick. Sure the hand holding was exciting, but suppose we would have to move on from there? Suppose he wants to stick his tongue in my mouth and discovers I haven't a clue as to what to do with mine? Suppose he even wants to put his hand down my shirt (something I'd been warned about in my Judy Blume novels) and - horror of horrors - discovers that my chest is just about the same general shape and size as his own? There was but one answer to my dilemma: break up pronto. It would be a shame to loose a boyfriend, sure, but I was additionally egged on by my German friend, who felt that she was loosing her grasp on her own man and was craftily suggesting a double dumping. If you don't dump him, she warned, he might dump you and think of the consequences on your popularity! I was convinced. The event took place just before the last period, history. I'm dumping you, I said. Fine by me, he retorted. But rumour later had it the bravado was just a front and that he'd cried over the end of our little affair after school. Not nearly as much as when Dawn Jaya dismissed him, though...

18 Comments:

  • At 9/21/2005 03:07:00 PM, Blogger crni said…

    Ahh, so you were a bitch at a young age already?

    He he, good story. Reminds me of my own story from that time... Maybe I'll write it up some day.

     
  • At 9/22/2005 04:29:00 PM, Blogger Zvita said…

    Mine, too, everybody's at some point, no?

    It's just that some things never change :-).

    First time reading you, not bad - much above average. Excited that i've found, well, was introduced to something readable.

    X

     
  • At 9/23/2005 08:56:00 PM, Anonymous Nicolas said…

    Watch your language young Crni, or you'll get a piece of me. Poulette is no bitch...

     
  • At 9/24/2005 12:56:00 AM, Blogger Doug Bagley said…

    Ah, young love, so cute, so innocent, so. . .pathetic aren't we at our first try? Guess that's what makes first loves so cute.

     
  • At 9/25/2005 03:14:00 AM, Blogger crni said…

    Oh la la, mon petit Nicolas. Relax, you say it as if it was a bad thing, you champion of the internets, you.

     
  • At 9/25/2005 01:26:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Ooooh, catfight! And a gay gentleman to my rescue, no less! Highly honoured, cher Nicolas... however, to be fair to Crni, allow me to quote the insightful rapper Eazy E: Not all women are bitches - but all women have a little bitch in 'em.
    Are we all in agreement here?!

     
  • At 9/25/2005 01:56:00 PM, Blogger crni said…

    Some women even have a little dog in them.

     
  • At 9/26/2005 08:45:00 AM, Blogger Poulette said…

    *Shocked silence*

     
  • At 10/07/2005 12:25:00 PM, Blogger RedScooter said…

    Where is the Dawn Jaya you know from?
    Is she short with dark hair?
    Indonesian perhaps?

     
  • At 10/07/2005 12:35:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    I don't KNOW the girl - she was in my school when I was twelve and at the time she was short (like most 12-year olds) and dark haired. And yes, Indonesian I think. Hmmm, stalking her are we RedScooter?

     
  • At 10/07/2005 02:18:00 PM, Blogger RedScooter said…

    No, not stalking, just curious. I googled her name and dropped into your blog. I knew her in art college. We were also neighbors/friends. She became a successful jewelry artist and art mueseum curator in North America. We've lost touch after we moved around. I forgot the part about you both being 12, sorry about that...anyway she was great when I knew her. I think she also went to international schools growing up so that makes sense.

     
  • At 10/21/2006 07:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dawn's Malaysian. I knew her for many and possibly you as well Poulette assuming you went to the same school in Singapore. The things you come across on the net. Now I'm trying to figure out who Mark is.

     
  • At 1/31/2007 06:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL - I also googled dawn and ended up here. i don't remember this dawn and mark thing, but i only got to uwc in 4th yr, so i missed all the jr house excitement. is it any comfort that she didn't have another bf until 7th yr? she's changed her name (not just the last, the whole name) to something i can't remember. hence the googling.

     
  • At 2/23/2007 04:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's funny I googled Dawn Jaya as well and went here. Yes she's Malaysian, I went to art school with her out in Nova Scotia, and lost touch once she moved to BC... seems Miss Dawn has made an impact on a lot of people.

     
  • At 4/28/2007 12:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    nice story!!! really liked it!!! i was typing anonymous things in google and i ended up here...

     
  • At 8/10/2007 02:26:00 PM, Anonymous truromum said…

    Hey, i also googled Dawn after going on uwcsea alumni site, and seeing what a couple of people were up to. She inspired me in all sorts of ways. Still doing art and dance. I am also wondering who mark is!!!!

     
  • At 5/30/2008 10:40:00 PM, Blogger dawn jaya said…

    Hey I'm wondering who Mark is too! It's Dawn Jaya here.... is that a faux pas? is one allowed to reveal ones self in this space.. ok I'll give myself another name. you can all call me "the goose is out" but you all know that it's really Dawn. How strange to read all this stuff. Someone just told me to google myself and look all the treasure I discovered!! wow.If anyone's looking for me and wants to write me a message you can look me up on facebook under Asya Jaya... I'm curious to find out all these mystery people, how exciting!! By the way Poulette you are really a very funny and wonderful writer...you should write a book if you haven't already...love to all you beloveds

     
  • At 11/13/2009 01:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hi dawn jaya! i'm trying to locate you...its been a long time, and i just want to know how you are doing. david H here from KL. it wont be hard to find me.

     

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