La Poulette

Tastes like chicken.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Slovenians perpetuate stereotypes? Never!

It was one of those first real summer days this July, when the clouds had finally cleared sufficiently to allow some rays of sunshine to peep through and give me an excuse to finally bring out my summer gear. Lord knows I'd waited long enough. It was a Paris week-end and the Purebred and I went for a little walk around the uneventful 15th district. Which, as far as I was concerned, was a good enough reason to don my new denim miniskirt and a pair of ultra high strappy wedge sandals.
So there I am, lookin' h-o-t HOT (or so I imagine) and lookin' down (both literally and not) on all those Parisian babes who are all casual and comfortable in their little flip-flops. No flip-flops, for me, no siree Bob! This chicita, I thought in discreet self-satisfaction, understands the importance of the heel and what it does to a girl's sex appeal. And I'm not teaching you anything that hasn't been said a thousand times before: elogenates the leg, showcases the derriere (or should I say trunk?), ensures a svelte silhouette, etc, etc, etc.
I felt like the leggy Mira Sorvino in Mighty Aphrodite. And I desperately wanted the Purebred to know this, to understand that he has a girl of superior quality by his side. That, unlike all those flip-flopping babes surrounding me, I am one of those rare few who is still willing to suffer for the sake of beauty (this sentiment enhanced all the more because I knew deep down that this was not in fact the case - but I'd paid good money for those shoes in better days and I'd be damned if I wasn't gonna get some wear out of them). Question was, how does one convey these thoughts delicately and indirectly without making oneself sound like a frivolous, self-involved airhead?! One has her ways.
"I so don't understand how all these girls can just walk around town in flip-flops" I start tentatively, my voice just the right combination of indignation and boredom, pleased with the sneaky, indirect way I'd managed to broach the subject.
He considers this thought for a moment. Looks at the casual, carefree girls all around. Takes me in head to toe. "I don't know..." A pause. "Actually I find high heels to be kind of typical of Easter European girls". This said in a casual, unsuspecting, almost bored voice as though he'd just said actually I think it might rain tomorrow.
But I'm thinking Easter European girls? EASTERN EUROPEAN GIRLS? In my world, telling someone that they look like an Eastern European girl is tantamount to calling them a cheap slut. I my world, the image of an Eastern European girl is that of a scrawny, mousy looking babe with fried peroxide blonde hair and dark roots - the worst dye job imaginable in short -, a girl whose jaw seems to be permanently working on a stick of gum, a girl who sports garish leopard print tank tops, faux leather miniskirts and cheap gold jewelry, a girl who - yes, granted - wears high heels, except hers are chunky and come attached to the cheapest plastic sandals imaginable. You know how people say that just before death you have a film of your entire life flash through your mind and you suddenly understand? Me, I had a film of my entire adult expat life go through mine and in each and every scene there I was, unsuspectingly satisfied in my various overdressed trying-too-hard outfits, meeting the Purebred kin and the Purebred friends, hoping to make the impression of the cosmopolitan girl who blends in like butter, while they look at me smiling, but afterwards gossip sotto voce "That the Purebred's new girlfriend? From some Eastern European country, is she? Slovakia? Yes, yeesssss, it does show, doesn't it?". It was like seeing an old photo of yourself from the 80's, all stone washed jeans and big hair thinking you're all that and some sugar on top, but in retrospect it's just faux pas after faux pas after faux pas. And by god, I understood.


  • At 9/15/2005 07:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yep, the snobby attitude (including, but not limited to, "stylish" clothing and titles before and after peoples' names) is all ex Habsburg Empire...

  • At 9/15/2005 11:07:00 PM, Blogger jaka said…

    sam ma tip čist prov...
    casual s stylom je prava umetnost

  • At 9/16/2005 12:54:00 PM, Blogger schuey said…

    heels are classy. ever.

  • At 9/16/2005 06:55:00 PM, Blogger crni said…

    /GrammarNazi_mode on

    "Slovenian's"? Tsk tsk, you are only using plural, so no need for the silly apostrophe.

    And schuey: u r dumb. ever. and always.



    /GrammarNazi_mode off

  • At 9/17/2005 08:20:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    Aaaargh crni, the shame, the humiliation! Typo duly fixed. Love the idea of a mild mannered grammar nazi who kindly signs off with kisses, though.

  • At 9/19/2005 12:04:00 PM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    Well, as long as we're on the subject of grammar - chicita??? Čisita indeed, I guess you haven't eaten a banana in a while - it's chiquita, honey B, chiquita!

  • At 9/19/2005 12:21:00 PM, Blogger Poulette said…

    I lead a banana free life indeed - blame it on that damned Montignac diet!

  • At 9/19/2005 01:16:00 PM, Anonymous rainbow warrior said…

    You on Montignac? I find it somewhat hard to belive that you could say NO to Cedevita with its 84g of sugar/100g.

  • At 9/23/2005 09:06:00 PM, Anonymous Nicolas said…

    I love that one Poulette, if i may call you Poulette. Or should I say Miss Poulette ?

    About the Purebred, i'm sure he's aware of the superior quality


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